“When is enough “enough”?   IS there ever an “enough”?

(Recently while subbing in a Christian high school, I passed a paper around the class with a voluntary assignment.  I asked students to write down their questions to this prompt:  “What question do you have about following Jesus right now?”  This is my response to the first of five questions that were asked by those high school students that day.)

Great question, isn't it?  We all can identify with the feeling “when is enough ‘enough’?” But this student's question goes deeper:  “IS there ever an 'enough'?”.   I know the pressure of trying to do or be enough as a follower of Jesus.  A nagging sense of hopelessness begins to emerge when we keep pressing on and on, only to discover that enough is never enough.  As we keep on trying to be or do enough, hopelessness turns to despair.  Then we wonder if there ever is such a place that we can reach called “enough”.

When I read this question, I was saddened by it.  Here was a teenage follower of Jesus who had reached the point of asking a question like this.  When we’re young, shouldn’t we feel optimistic, ready to tackle the world?

But there is another side to this question.  It’s actually a good thing if we come to this question early in our walk with Jesus.  Asking this question indicates arrival at a place to make a life-changing discovery.  If we discover that following Jesus out of the need for acceptance and approval, we will make the transition from living under the tyranny of works into the liberty of grace.  Let me explain.

The question “when is enough, enough” only makes sense out of a works or performance mentality.  A performance mentality grows out of this kind of thinking.  Jesus died for our sins.  If we believe he died for us and was raised from the dead, then we are forgiven.  This is grace.  Now that we are a follower of Jesus we are to show our commitment by following his commands.  Soon a relationship started by grace degenerates into maintaining our salvation by works. 

Unfortunately, performance mentality is reinforced by well-meaning people saying, “If you really are saved- you will pray more, read the Bible more, volunteer for the nursery more, spend less on yourself and give more...”

This can become very manipulative.  Trying to get young people to do “the right thing”, we tell our students “a Christian will...” then we fill in the blank with what we want them to do.

The power of a performance mentality many times is rooted by important people only giving us conditional love.  We are raised on messages of: “If you really loved me…”  “If you do this you will make me very proud of you…”  “Remember, people in our family don’t do …” 

But aren't there some things as followers of Jesus we are supposed to do?  And there are some things we are not supposed to do as followers of Jesus?  Well, yes and no.

“Yes”, there are behaviors that should be evident in a follower of Jesus.  And certainly there are some things we should stop or never do.

But the answer is “no”, if as followers of Jesus we attempt to get on the treadmill of life to earn or keep our relationship with Jesus.  There is no “enough” we can do to earn or keep our relationship with Jesus.

This is demonstrated in the baptism of Jesus.  Jesus comes to John the Baptist asking to be baptized by him.  John was baptizing people as a sign of their repentance from sin and cleansing to prepare for the soon coming Messiah or Christ.  When Jesus makes his request, John replies essentially, “No way.  I'm the one who should be baptized by you.”  But Jesus responds to John’s protests by saying he desires baptism to “fulfill all righteousness”.

What did Jesus mean?  The quick answer in his baptism Jesus was identifying with what God was doing through John.  Jesus was going to fulfill what the Father had started in John's ministry as the promised Messiah.  When John agreed and baptized Jesus, a Voice was heard saying, “You are my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased”.

The affirmation of a father to a son or daughter is life-giving.  I remember a time riding in the car with my father.  It was during a time of some major disappointments in others and failures on my part.  He said to me, “John, you've been through some tough times.  But I want you to know your mother and I are proud of you.”  This word of blessing was powerful for me.  The power of this is demonstrated by the fact I can share this with you.   I have played the recording of it in my mind over and over.  When you father says he is pleased with you--it means something.

But the words that Jesus heard are even more powerful than the ones spoken to me by my earthly father.  Jesus heard “you are my son” from the Father.  God was declaring that He was the Father and Jesus was His unique Son.  Then Jesus heard, “in whom I am well pleased”.  A relationship was affirmed.

Now I ask you, what had Jesus done to deserve hearing those words?  Why was the Father well pleased with him?  Jesus had performed no miracle.  Not one leper had been cleansed, no blind eyes opened and no lame person was dancing because for the first time they could walk.  Jesus had not told one parable, no sermon on the mount, no “verily, verily I say unto you”.  What had Jesus done that was enough to be called son and that the Father was well pleased with him? 

Nothing.   Jesus was a son and accepted by the Father because this relationship had existed from before creation.  Jesus said that before Abraham was, “I am”.  Jesus’ relationship with the Father was not earned nor did he remain as son by his efforts. 

But remember Jesus was also fully human.  And this Jesus heard from the Father that he had the identity as a son and what's more, the Father was well pleased with him.  God was well pleased not in what Jesus had done but in who Jesus was...a beloved son.

Following the baptism we see Jesus going into the wilderness, confronting Satan and coming out of the wilderness in the power of the Holy Spirit.  Don't miss this.  Jesus was given an identity, and in that identity, Jesus had the full acceptance of the Father.  Jesus then lived, or “performed”, not in order to secure his identity or gain acceptance.  Jesus lived out of who he was, relying on the power of the Holy Spirit, all given to him by the Father who had freely loved and accepted Jesus.

We do things just backward.  We don’t feel who we are in Jesus is enough.  We are desperate to be accepted.  We mistakenly believe acceptance is based on performance.  So we strive and work in order to do enough so someone will look at what we have done and accept us.  We hope when others think we have done enough to be accepted, they will give us the identity we grave. 

For example, we accept Jesus as Lord and Savior.  We want others to accept us as “real Christians” and give us that identity.  So we perform in order to be accepted so that we will have the identity we desire.

Then we discover a problem.  First, we never know when we've done enough so we perpetually try to do more, do better and measure up.  Second, running after our illusive identity on the “gerbil wheel” of Christian activities we end up exhausted, discouraged and ultimately wondering if all this is really worth it.

The good news of Jesus is, as we surrender our lives to him, we receive the identity as a son or daughter of God.  As sons and daughters, we are accepted, not for what we have done or what we do not do.  We are accepted because God freely loves us unconditionally like he loves Jesus.  And what about our performance?  Jesus finished the performance for our identity and acceptance in his death on the cross.  Now, as we accept by faith our new identity and acceptance in Jesus Christ, we can live in the power of the Holy Spirit.  Our actions are the fruit of our relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ, not frantic attempts to obtain the Father’s acceptance.

At first when I became a follower of Jesus, I was so excited.  I wanted to please Jesus in everything I did.  Then, after a while, I discovered that following Jesus was really hard.  I wanted to love others but when certain people hurt me, I wanted revenge.  I tried thinking pure thoughts even while my mind immediately wandered to places it should not go.  Always trying harder, trying to “be good” and working to do my very best.  Still deep inside, I knew I was failing and there was always going to be something else I should have been doing while I was doing the other.  It was exhausting. 

Then came those points in my life where I got off the treadmill by giving myself permission to just do what I wanted, when I wanted to do it.  It brought relief at first.  But then as I began reaping what I had been sowing, I didn't like the harvest.  So, it was back to the treadmill of attempting to do enough and the cycle of performance began again.

Life turned into a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde experience flipping back and forth between the prodigal son and older brother in Jesus' parable.  Rebelling against all expectations, till the frustration of not getting what I wanted turned me back to do everything right.  Then I became the angry older brother, doing everything right, still feeling distant from the father and remaining outside the house.  Those bracelets so popular a few years ago- “WWJD- what would Jesus do”.  I would never wear one because it felt like the bracelet was mocking me in my futility.  I could not do what Jesus would do, even if I knew what Jesus would do.

Then I discovered following Jesus was not just hard—following Jesus by trying to do enough was impossible.  Ironically, by trying to be like Jesus, life became all about me.  Jesus says apart from him, we can do nothing.  I found by trying to do enough only put me and my performance front and center stage—and I could not perform. 

It was then I found there is only one place to find my ‘enough’.  Meditating on Jesus at his baptism, I got in touch again with the unconditional love of the Father.  My identity became grounded in who the Father says I am because of my union with Jesus.  I started trusting in what Jesus had already done for me and not in what I could do for him.

If Jesus needed to hear those words “you are my beloved son in whom I am well pleased” then I absolutely needed to hear them.  Those words empowered me to stop performing to be accepted and walk out a new identity.  I started being thankful that I am a beloved son in whom the Father is well pleased.  Then I discovered a fresh power of the Holy Spirit working through me, enabling me to do what I could not do.

Now don't get me wrong.  I still go back to the old performance mentality from time to time.  Then I will change my mind and start living out of my identity in Jesus, but that's okay.  I am working out my salvation as the Spirit leads me in every part of my life.  Whenever I sense the exhaustion of the performance treadmill, it's great to know I can jump off by a simple surrender of control to Jesus.  I even say sometimes, “I don't really want to yield control to you… but I want to want to”.  Jesus is willing to always meet me there, setting me free from trying to do enough and learning to rest in his enough.

When is enough, enough?  My story is there is a better question to ask.  The better question to ask ourselves is “when is Jesus' enough going to be enough”?  Then we can stop striving and start trusting.